On the plane I whisper the travel prayer more softly

I mouth the words but keep the breath carefully

concealed in my throat, worried I don’t have a permit

for these verses in international airspace.
The prayer is filled with soft sounds

Ash-ha-du a tender hush, unlike

the sharp hiss of testify. And the mess

of vowels    la ilaa ha illaa    wants breath

it is difficult to keep this all inside.

It is difficult to pray, and even more

difficult to marvel or to rage.
Allah was my go-to word

for all the moments of the day

the wonders

as in

(close your eyes and savor here)

Allaaaaah    can you believe the fragrance of this gardenia?

the colors of this sunset? How is it your lips

are still as sweet as the first time?
and the transgressions

as in

(clench your fists and tremble here)

Allahu akbar!

Please help me survive this

Please help me believe this will end

Please help me trust there is some power

greater than all this suffering.