Here's the re-mix of one of literature's most famous first lines:

As gorger Gregor Samsa awoke one morning on grim neon rumor, weak as sudsy foam from meaner omen uneasy dreams, he found himself off due hush-framed snore mail transformed in his bed shied bin taint into a tacit ensign giant insect.

Kafka's original is an anacoluthon — a sentence that seems to make sense until it suddenly doesn't. Nufer's version seems not to make sense until it suddenly does. Read more on our sponsorship page, but leave yourself a trail of crumbs. Not to mix story metaphors, but you could easily find yourself happily lost in this one.

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