The Help Desk: Not your porn? Not your problem.

Do you need a book recommendation to send your worst cousin on her birthday? Is it okay to read erotica on public transit? Cienna Madrid can help. Send your Help Desk Questions to advice@seattlereviewofbooks.com.

Dear Cienna,

A few weeks ago at the library, I was passing by a bank of the library’s computers when I couldn’t help but notice one of the patrons was watching pornography. I mean, it was a hardcore, full-penetration video, and he had his back to the whole library! (No, he wasn’t touching himself.)

I don’t like to think of myself as a prude, but I was concerned for others passing by. It’s summer vacation, and kids hang out at the library! So I complained to a librarian.

The librarian told me that the computers had special privacy screens installed so that people could only see what was on them if they stood directly behind the user. She also said that they couldn’t interfere with the patron’s freedom of speech. So, basically, her hands were tied.

What do you think of this policy, Cienna? Should I have done something as a citizen? There were available computers facing the wall that he could have used.

Lorna, [Neighborhood withheld by request]

Dear Lorna,

You don't like to think of yourself as a prude, I don't like to think of myself as a mid-30s spinster whose idea of "intercourse" means demanding dessert for an appetizer on first dates at chain restaurants. But here we are.

Sure, he could have used a more discrete location. Then again, you could've refrained from standing directly behind him and staring at his privacy-screened computer long enough to catch the proverbial cumshot, curtsy and final curtain.

If you are with a young child in the library and they are in a position to stare at someone else's shielded computer screen long enough to catch an eyeful of hard-core porn, well, you should be watching your child better. If it's an older kid, they're spying because they're curious. These kids are begging for two lectures: one on sex and another on how rude it is to invade other people's privacy (even if it's in public).

But this issue isn't really about the lost innocence of children. Often, the people shamed for watching porn in Seattle libraries are homeless. So this debate becomes a coded discussion for restricting how homeless people are allowed to use a public space.

Here are my pre-diabetic spinster thoughts on that: Libraries are sacred because they contain more knowledge than any one person could ever consume and they share it for free. And in gold-plated cities like Seattle, where living on the streets ensures that you will face routine government-licensed harassment from police on top of the normal fears, stresses and dehumanizing interactions you endure during a routine day, libraries are rare sanctuaries. Libraries are knowledge, reprieve, warmth, free public toilets, and free internet, which can be used for job searches or anal fisting searches. Neither are your business, as it is not your job to censor other people's interests, hobbies, genre preferences, sexual preferences, or any other type of content housed in a library. Nor is this the job of librarians. So keep your eyes to yourself.

Kisses,

Cienna