Every Friday, Cienna Madrid offers solutions to life’s most vexing literary problems. Do you need a book recommendation to send your worst cousin on her birthday? Is it okay to read erotica on public transit? Cienna can help. Send your questions to advice@seattlereviewofbooks.com.

Dear Cienna,

What's the one thing that will ensure that you never buy a book when you see it on the new releases table at your bookstore?

Deborah,
Capitol Hill

Dear Deborah,

How kind of you to ask. I love discussing my pet peeves as much as Beatrix, my exceptionally gifted daughter-gator, loves playing "Got Your Nose!" with kittens.

Pet peeve no. 1: I won't buy books with jacket blurbs that compare the author to a more famous author that I like — I'm routinely disappointed by the comparison and I think it's a lazy shortcut to get people interested in a book. Pitch the book on its strengths, not someone else's!

Pet peeve no. 2: I would rather let ravens pluck out my eyes than read a book that is classified as "humor" or shelved in the "Humor" section of a bookstore, which some stores have. Calling humor a genre is like calling the sun a chandelier: stupid. It's not a genre and the books that are typically shelved there are about as funny as watching Beatrix try to give a kitten back its nose.

Kisses,
Cienna