Cienna Madrid

Reviews by Cienna Madrid

Notes by Cienna Madrid

• The Help Desk: The bad kind of free speech
• The Help Desk: Lord, give me the confidence of a lactating spider
• The Help Desk: What's your sign? My sign says "stop reading horoscopes"
• The Help Desk: The reading cure
• The Help Desk: Good dog, bad book
• The Help Desk: Literary theft on Instagram
• The Help Desk: The odor of loss
• The Help Desk: For the love of all that's holy, give me some good news
• The Help Desk: The most beautiful sound I ever read
• The Help Desk: How do you say "lost in translation" in literally any other language?
• The Help Desk: The itsy bitsy spider learned how to not be a jerk
• The Help Desk: A list of men to avoid
• The Help Desk: The movie is worse, but the book is longer
• The Help Desk: Are we spiraling toward illiteracy?
• The Help Desk: Help me be a better man
• The Help Desk: How do I force my child to enjoy reading?
• The Help Desk: Bad dog
• The Help Desk: Reading as snakebite cure
• The Help Desk: Stop my wife before she bathes with a book again
• The Help Desk: Abridged, too far?
• The Help Desk: Breaking the code
• The Help Desk: Tucker to the Max
• The Help Desk: How do book-minded Seattleites push back against Amazon?
• The Help Desk: Tips for the masculine romance reader
• The Help Desk: Seattle is a toxic pit of hate and failure right now. Can books help?
• The Help Desk: The man I'm crushing on has a big-book problem
• The Help Desk: Does whatever a spider can
• The Help Desk: My child has a spanking problem
• The Help Desk: Cienna, I mustache you a question
• The Help Desk: Are you e-xperienced?
• The Help Desk: Rub-a-dub-dub, should I read in the tub?
• The Help Desk: I ain't afraid of no ghost writers
• The Help Desk: Librarian.exe is not responding
• The Help Desk: Putting the "man" in "romance"
• The Help Desk: On gender-swapping the classics
• The Help Desk: I wish I hadn't agreed to edit my friend's memoir
• The Help Desk: A poem for the lonely
• The Help Desk: Bringing a book to a gun fight
• The Help Desk: How do I talk to my kids about authors and #MeToo?
• The Help Desk: How do I put down the phone and pick up the book?
• The Help Desk: $15 Reasons Why
• The Help Desk: Writing residencies at the end of the world
• The Help Desk: At your disposal
• The Help Desk: Make room for a woman on that pedestal, buddy
• The Help Desk: What book would you give to your teenage self?
• The Help Desk: Do only terrible men write books about terrible men?
• The Help Desk: Wiccans need love, too
• The Help Desk: that terrible feeling when you've finally reached your goals
• The Help Desk: Does Buzzfeed count as reading?
• The Help Desk: The authors of our disappointment
• The Help Desk: Rumors of bad men
• The Help Desk: A very Help Desk Christmas
• The Help Desk: I did not sign up for a spoiler-free book club
• The Help Desk: I want to write a historical novel, but history is really, really racist
• The Help Desk: Men keep interrupting my reading time and I hate it
• The Help Desk: Erotica tips from a bag of hair
• The Help Desk: Does Stephen King have "it?"
• The Help Desk: It's thick book season!
• The Help Desk: Don't forget what your good book said
• The Help Desk: My book club is going soft!
• The Help Desk: Putting the "no" in "novelty books"
• The Help Desk: At the Little Free Library, freedom isn't free
• The Help Desk: This floor, boys. Next floor, mens.
• The Help Desk: Not your porn? Not your problem.
• The Help Desk: How to get an English degree from Cienna Madrid University
• The Help Desk: don't slag me, broseph
• Help Desk: A summer reading list for the damned
• The Help Desk: Downward dog-earing
• The Help Desk: Books to ward off demon-children
• The Help Desk: The shelves of desire
• The Help Desk: If Cienna Madrid could force all Seattle to read one book...
• The Help Desk: What goes on in Christian Science Reading Rooms?
• The Help Desk: Always be (talking about) closing
• The Help Desk: No one is free when others are alphabetized
• The Help Desk: I ruined a friend's treasured book. Why don't I feel bad about it?
• The Help Desk: I used to read terrible books. Are the books I read now just as terrible?
• The Help Desk: In a divorce, who gets custody of the bookshelves?
• The Help Desk: The online retailer that shall not be named
• The Help Desk: Name one good thing and one bad thing about Seattle
• The Help Desk: The inedible journey
• The Help Desk: What should we call serious comic books and non-fictional graphic novels?
• The Help Desk: For the millionth time, are TV shows the new novels?
• The Help Desk: Is there publishing after death?
• The Help Desk: Sometimes, humiliation is a team sport
• The Help Desk: Secret romances and sexy pirates
• The Help Desk: A trip down mammary lane
• The Help Desk: Even in an age of Trump, writers should be paid for their work
• The Help Desk: My bookstore wants to carry books by a racist monster!
• The Help Desk: Your one-stop shop for advice on plagiarism, pince-nez, and spider blood
• The Help Desk: Portrait of the author as a total hottie
• The Help Desk: How about some dystopia to go along with your dystopia?
• The Help Desk: Stop me before I troll again
• The Help Desk: What can writers do to fight Trump?
• The Help Desk: Reading out of heartbreak
• The Help Desk: Locker room talk and the arts
• The Help Desk: Follow your heart, drench your liver
• The Help Desk: a twofer! NaNoWriMo hangovers and teenage (heart) kicks
• The Help Desk: Perfection is overrated
• The Help Desk: As a writer, how do I get into another person's head?
• The Help Desk: I'm writing a novel this month. Does anybody care?
• The Help Desk: Rules for writing in books
• The Help Desk: Will no one rid me of these troublesome novelists?
• The Help Desk: Steampunked
• The Help Desk: I'll bet his place smells like tannis root
• The Help Desk: Up is down, nerds are bullies, nothing makes sense anymore
• The Help Desk: Am I stealing from the library?
• The Help Desk: Hypocrisy is so much cheaper when you buy it online
• The Help Desk: My son is a bad writer, and it's ruining his marriage
• The Help Desk: Flushing out bathroom books
• The Help Desk: Are adult coloring books a fad?
• The Help Desk: Is poetry a scam?
• The Help Desk: I want my husband's mistress to recommend books for me
• The Help Desk: You can't dog ear a Facebook
• The Help Desk: Maybe it stands for "Not Pleasing Readers"
• The Help Desk: Lies and arson
• The Help Desk: That new book smell
• The Help Desk: The grass is always green-eyed
• The Help Desk: Will no one think of the white man in literature?
• The Help Desk: Deflated by word balloons
• The Help Desk: Checkboxes of despair
• The Help Desk: You sure did write a book, didn't you?
• The Help Desk: how to teach the lottery
• The Help Desk: Color me vexed
• The Help Desk: Are we pro or con when it comes to sexy librarian porn?
• The Help Desk: A griever's library
• The Help Desk: Literature and longing on Link light rail
• The Help Desk: Give me back my damn books, mom
• The Help Desk: Jonathan Livingston See-ya
• The Help Desk: Oh, the guilt!
• The Help Desk: Kingsolver? I can't even Kingstander!
• The Help Desk: I loaned someone a book. Will I ever see it again?
• The Help Desk: My local Little Free Library is a disaster
• The Help Desk: Tintin is a racist and I don't know what to do about it
• The Help Desk: The high cost of oonce oonce oonce oonce
• The Help Desk: Is it even possible to read while high?
• The Help Desk: A favorite author let me down. Should I stop meeting writers I love?
• The Help Desk: My bookish friend drinks too much. Can books save him?
• The Help Desk: Dun DUN Dun Dun Dun Dun DUN Dun Dun DUUUUUN
• The Help Desk: Sentimental, old, and smelly
• The Help Desk: No, but I watched the movie
• The Help Desk: Is we getting more illiterater?
• The Help Desk: Should my boyfriend and I merge our bookshelves?
• The Help Desk: Counter programming
• The Help Desk: The Tucker Max book club
• The Help Desk: How should a pacifist book-lover protest Amazon's bookstore?
• The Help Desk: Is it okay to lie about books?
• The Help Desk: You are your own worst imposter
• The Help Desk: The other Help Desk
• The Help Desk: A cute boy only reads self-important books by self-important men — what do I do?
• The Help Desk: The joy of parenting and the Joy of Sex
• The Help Desk: So you're a man's man who loves romance novels
• The Help Desk: Oh, no! My mom's a wiccan!
• The Help Desk: Flirting with disaster
• The Help Desk: Advice on adopting the perfect muse
• The Help Desk: Taking a stand on Stephen King
• The Help Desk: Does dog-earing make me an infidel?
• The Help Desk: Should female writers man up their mansucripts?
• The Help Desk: Introducing our new literary advice column