Every Friday, Cienna Madrid offers solutions to life’s most vexing literary problems. Do you need a book recommendation to send your worst cousin on her birthday? Is it okay to read erotica on public transit? Cienna can help. Send your questions to advice@seattlereviewofbooks.com.

Dear Cienna,

I’m friends with a prominent Seattle author. Their book has been turned into a movie — a very bad movie. I hated it. “Hated” isn’t strong enough, actually: I wish I could make this movie disappear from human history. The book it’s based on is good, but the movie is poorly directed, badly acted, and it misses the point of the book entirely.

My friend seems kind of proud of the film, or at least proud of the fact that the book was turned into a film, so I suspect they’ll mention it to me the next time I see them. Should I pretend to be happy for them? Should I lie and say I enjoyed the film? Should I tell the honest truth?

Vivian
Hillman City

Dear Vivian,

Three months ago, my upstairs neighbor fell pregnant. This neighbor, a human, is also my tenant (I own a house but prefer the basement because the air has a sad, clingy quality that feels almost like ghost tears on the skin). I was doubly surprised. Up until this point she seemed a contented spinster, like myself, and pets are not allowed, as per our lease agreement.

However, I wanted to be supportive of her choice to spawn. So instead of stating the honest truth – that she was in breach of our lease agreement and I feared my hardwoods would suffer, I sent her a card that said this: "Congratulations. If you put down a pet deposit, the creature can stay."

My point is, if you want to be tactful, tell a flattering version of the honest truth. Like this: "I saw the movie. Your book was much better."

Kisses,
Cienna